We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

DMMBH

by Andrew Beauman

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Empty Claw 02:18
Oh what he would giveTo see her fail, to see her fall The distain he has for her is ever present in his voice and It holds such a weight that even the brick that is her foundation crumbles beneath her feet But through his distain and distaste for her he cares somehow The love he had for her is so undeserved. And still she treats him like dirt So she sits at home now She sits alone he sits at home now and He sits alone She wishes she was out Wishing for that claw to hold a drink. Booze that she doesn't pay for Free love for a night that she doesnt even have to look for. She's fulfilled for one night When he has enough love to fill her cup and many more He sits at home He sits alone She sits at home and She sits alone He hates his devotion to her Cause no matter how badly her choices could hurt him he knows he'll come crawling back even when all he gets from her is a look. God how he misses that look. Two people sit alone Two people in two separate homes Two people who all a long should've know Each pathetic in their own special way I find my self talking to myself about this self I don't understand Feeling pathetic, vaguely schizophrenic and somehow less of a man i feel this welling in my throat fighting for words that could describe i feel them dripping from my lips wet words that fail to come outside they're soaked in such significance to force them out my best i try I waste my time attempting this without their wetness they are lies My Peace of mind is only achieved By writing yelling screaming and grinding teeth Only by taking it to both extremes Can my sanity truely be seen
2.
I could waste all my time reminesing of all the times that you made me feel like you wouldn't go I could choose to ignore all those times you slammed the door making our love just a chore I'm better off I would think of all the times that my belly turned upside butterflies somewhere inside when you'd smile and look at me with those eyes when I think back on them I cry not knowing that they had lied to my very soul there are so many happy moments that I could focus on but its hard when they're surrounded by the bad sometimes I think about the great times we had but it always ends up in the same place my mind leads me to your crying face its hard to see where your at, knowing that you fell so far how could you gave up on all that you believed you used to love Jesus oh so passionately now you seek reason, science and the pleasures of humanity I used to look up to you, did you know that your faith is what I found most beautiful You were so strong I never thought it possible for you to crumble what happened what changed what makes you run from the ones you now hate what was it that made your love fade We had a horrible relationship realistically but the things I learned from both God and you will forever shape me they'll make me in to a much stronger man You made me hate the way that I was when I was angry You cried when I was angry I hate the man you made me you made me manipulate people to get what i wanted now I have to catch myself lying to bring favor on myself reading into every stupid fraction of a word in a over complicated sentence empty in its worth making every waking moment so stupidly complex worried that I would say something wrong that causes you distress you always ran away, thats what made me so angry you never faced our problems, and it drove me crazy I always pushed you too hard I always took things way too far I guess thats where things all start when you give up on your mind and use your heart I don't need you anymore, holding my hand your not my rock, He is When you crumble he stands firm and his love isn't something i have to earn I hope one day your realize that his love won't fade once mine subsides I wish I could see through your eyes so that I could know why you left his side so go ahead, go on, live your new life I won't chase you any more but just you know I don't speak for the Lord
3.
Dear Mrs My Better Halfyou seem so very far away when I'm sitting here in my lonely head wishing I knew the shape of that lovely face I swear to you until that day i'll save whats left of the gift god made I am quite ashamed to say This is a gift I already gave I know that God already forgave But I'm still terrified to see your face I know Its no longer fully intact i thought that i knew better than God i hurt my relationship with both him and you and i have to accept that fact I gave into to my sin Traded Gods truth for a lie Casting off all inhibition Who knew that I'd arrive Standing there in the glass Looking into my own eyes Realizing it was me looking back That I could bearly even recognize The image of me is not what I'd thought I'd see I didn't see the man that I believed myself to be Not a man, atleast not much of one Not proud and strong, a little more weak and lost But overcome by sin and lust I found myself left dead to rust So then I prayed "God I never wanna do that again Give away a part of my soul, my purity For a few moments of ecstacy Oh God I made myself sick that night And it haunted me for months But I hit rock bottom then So you could start building me back up To lay the foundation in me as a man of integrity To establish the man of God that you always knew that I'd eventually be A strong foundation to be built brick by brick with you by my side guiding A foundation built for honering you a foundation for my family." Dear Mrs My Future Wife i must ask for your forgiveness for i was just a stupid boy who proved that he was foolish But from this day forth until we wed I'm keeping myself for you Its still far off and it will be hard but God will bless both me and you We've still to meet, or at least recognize the shape of our better half i know not the place, i know not the date but ill wade my way through this loneliness Till I'm standing there all dressed in black doing my best to look presentable and you and in your dress and i've lost my breath, knowing that i see the beauty of My Jesus christ, there in your eyes shining bright enough to blind me knowing that God had planed for it that all my mistakes still lead to this that everything worked out through all that mess that my beautiful new bride graced me with this I know that Gods still preparing both you and i to meet he's getting our hearts ready to live in perfect harmony but if he gave you to me now i know that we're both not ready Cause I know I'm not Gods working on my pride so i can be the man i need to be To be the husband that he knows that I can be

about

This is an EP about life, relationships and most importantly my struggle with purity, past relationships, God, and moving on. (DMMBH - Dear Mrs. My Better Half)

credits

released January 6, 2013

-David Leal Music for the wonderful voice tracking we did.
-Luke Nowland for the Music and backing track for "Dear Mrs. My Better -Half"
-Xander Shabe for the music and backing tracks for "Empty Claw" and "When She Crumbles"
-Greater Creative Collective for supporting me in all my endeavors
-my parents, for keeping me strong
-Caleb Newbury for doing so much awesome work photo and video
and
-Everyone at Desperation Leadership Academy for helping me get to where I am today being able to release this album.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Andrew Beauman Colorado Springs, Colorado

contact / help

Contact Andrew Beauman

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Andrew Beauman, you may also like: