Dear Mrs My Better Halfyou seem so very far away
when I'm sitting here in my lonely head
wishing I knew the shape of that lovely face


I swear to you until that day
i'll save whats left of the gift god made
I am quite ashamed to say
This is a gift I already gave


I know that God already forgave
But I'm still terrified to see your face
I know Its no longer fully intact
i thought that i knew better than God
i hurt my relationship with both him and you
and i have to accept that fact


I gave into to my sin
Traded Gods truth for a lie
Casting off all inhibition
Who knew that I'd arrive
Standing there in the glass
Looking into my own eyes
Realizing it was me looking back
That I could bearly even recognize


The image of me is not what I'd thought I'd see
I didn't see the man that I believed myself to be
Not a man, atleast not much of one
Not proud and strong, a little more weak and lost
But overcome by sin and lust
I found myself left dead to rust


So then I prayed


"God I never wanna do that again
Give away a part of my soul, my purity
For a few moments of ecstacy
Oh God I made myself sick that night
And it haunted me for months
But I hit rock bottom then
So you could start building me back up
To lay the foundation in me
as a man of integrity
To establish the man of God that you always knew that I'd eventually be
A strong foundation to be built brick by brick with you by my side guiding
A foundation built for honering you
a foundation for my family."


Dear Mrs My Future Wife
i must ask for your forgiveness
for i was just a stupid boy
who proved that he was foolish
But from this day forth
until we wed
I'm keeping myself for you
Its still far off
and it will be hard
but God will bless both me and you


We've still to meet, or at least recognize
the shape of our better half
i know not the place, i know not the date
but ill wade my way through this loneliness


Till I'm standing there all dressed in black
doing my best to look presentable
and you and in your dress and i've lost my breath,
knowing that i see the beauty of
My Jesus christ, there in your eyes
shining bright enough to blind me
knowing that God had planed for it
that all my mistakes still lead to this
that everything worked out through all that mess
that my beautiful new bride graced me with this


I know that Gods still preparing both you and i to meet
he's getting our hearts ready to live in perfect harmony

but if he gave you to me now i know that we're both not ready
Cause I know I'm not
Gods working on my pride so i can be the man i need to be
To be the husband that he knows that I can be