I could waste all my time reminesing of all the times
that you made me feel like
you wouldn't go
I could choose to ignore
all those times you slammed the door
making our love just a chore
I'm better off
I would think of all the times
that my belly turned upside
butterflies somewhere inside
when you'd smile
and look at me with those eyes
when I think back on them I cry
not knowing that they had lied
to my very soul

there are so many happy moments that I could focus on
but its hard when they're surrounded by the bad
sometimes I think about the great times we had
but it always ends up in the same place
my mind leads me to your crying face

its hard to see where your at, knowing that you fell so far
how could you gave up on all that you believed
you used to love Jesus oh so passionately
now you seek reason, science and the pleasures of humanity

I used to look up to you, did you know that
your faith is what I found most beautiful
You were so strong
I never thought it possible for you to crumble
what happened
what changed
what makes you run from the ones you now hate
what was it that made your love fade

We had a horrible relationship
realistically
but the things I learned from both God and you
will forever shape me
they'll make me
in to a much stronger man
You made me hate the way that I was when I was angry
You cried when I was angry
I hate the man you made me
you made me manipulate people to get what i wanted
now I have to catch myself lying to bring favor on myself

reading into every stupid fraction of a word
in a over complicated sentence empty in its worth
making every waking moment so stupidly complex
worried that I would say something wrong that causes you distress

you always ran away, thats what made me so angry
you never faced our problems, and it drove me crazy
I always pushed you too hard
I always took things way too far
I guess thats where things all start
when you give up on your mind and use your heart

I don't need you anymore, holding my hand
your not my rock, He is
When you crumble he stands firm
and his love isn't something i have to earn

I hope one day your realize
that his love won't fade once mine subsides
I wish I could see through your eyes
so that I could know why you left his side
so go ahead, go on, live your new life
I won't chase you any more
but just you know I don't speak for the Lord